Can’t wait till things finally fall into place. Things might just be too much for me to handle, especially at this time of year. Sometimes life gets tougher to make you stronger. Just have to believe in myself and hope for the best, after all when you hit rock bottom there’s nowhere else to go but up.

Just thankful for the people that are here for me right now. I’m glad to have chosen quality over quantity. Sucks this year isn’t ending as good as it started. I hope I make it through. Tough decisions and problems to face. On top of the things my head is trying to figure out, my heart is creeping up.

I just wish you cared, even just for a little bit. I guess I should just be happy that you are and that you’re okay. Leaving me with all this, thanks. I’ll be stronger and a better person, just have to keep in mind that this is just a phase. I’ll get by. Gonna need this new year, a fresh start. Just me and the few people that matters because they make me feel like I do.

I didn’t get what I deserve but through all this I got the push that I needed. No more, never again, or maybe at least not for a long time.

Friends. Nepotism.

If you were the CEO of your company, would you fire your bestfriend or a family member if they went overboard? Like for example, they start to be the boss of other things, just because they're close to you? Or they put their ideas into work without even discussing it with you?

For me.. I would fir him/her. Or atleast try to talk to him/her to calm down with their ideas and try to discuss them with me before starting em, and try to tell them to calm down, just because I'm the boss.. You know??

Send in you answers! I'd love to read them. Thank you!

Why?

Why is it that when I don't understand something, I get frustrated? I guess this is something I have to start getting used to.. Now that I'm in college (almost graduating). I used to be one of those people who understood mostly everything that was taught in class in one sitting, but now I have to actually sit down and read a mothrfkng book to understand what's going on. Now isn't that fun? Haha

In Labor

I think the appropriate title is, "What Goes Through My Patients' Mind"

By that means, it's about my internship (as a student nurse). So since sophomore yr of exposure to different hospitals/clinics, I began to question myself 'what goes through my patients' minds?'. Since my title is 'in labor', it doesn't mean labor like a job where you get paid but it means a mother who is in her last stage before expelling her child out.

So there was this scene where 6 of us were monitoring a couple of patients inside the labor room. While checking the vital signs, I saw the look on my patient's face like she went 'are all of them seriously gonna come here just to check my vital signs?!' I can tell that she was a lil pissed by the look on her face but I ignored it. The 2nd time I checked her vital signs, she turned her back on me. I approached her very nicely (even though I already knew her mood) and she finally turned to me and said 'hurry up, I'm trying to rest!' I rushed things up, I didn't even care if I was doing the procedure correctly but all I cared about was my patient's mood.

I went to our room and played with my psp for awhile. I was asking myself 'did I do something wrong? Or should I normally expect this from my patients?' I tried to remember everything I did from my shift but I couldn't remember one thing that would offend her. So I kept thinking that if I should expect this from my patients, then there must be atleast a reason for their behavior whether it could be psychological, physical, mental or social stress. So I went inside and confronted her. I asked her nicely about the whole situation and her mood and she went calm and said 'I'm not mad, I'm just not comftable.' I didn't ask her why but she voluntarily told me 'whenever you guys are around, I feel like my privacy is being invaded. I couldn't even look straight at you because of the fact that I'm in a situation like this and couldn't do anything but to cooperate with you. Whenever you take that BP cuff or thermometer, and your classmates are staring at me, I feel like there's something wrong with me. Can't you're teacher assign somebody who'll monitor me? Just one person. I'm gonna be fine with it!'

By the way, we were in a public hospital. Perfect timing though, we were about to end our shift. I told her, 'OK maam, I'll do something about it. If there's anything else that bothers you, please tell me/us. We won't mind. That's our job' and gave her a smile. I don't know if that set her happy mood up but atleast I know what went through her mind, to our patients' minds in general. I totally understand her. If I were in her position and people/students are staring at me, I would get absolutely uncomftable. I don't like being watched or stared or touched by anybody unless you're a professional. That's just me and I'm pretty sure my patients have the same feelings too. It's just that sometimes.. They don't have a choice.

Mission Possible

Whenever you tell me that you're hurt, you're sad, you're angry, or you're stressed. I will do anything to try and make you happy. I will talk to you. I will try to make you smile. I will try and make you laugh. I will do anything to just make that bad feeling go away. I hate to hear that you're not happy. I hate to hear that you're not having a good day. I want to change that. I want to help.. Unless.. I don't like you! JK

Need To Focus

I gave up my Sunday to attend church though I lacked sleep. Last weekend was supposed to be filled with parties and kickbacks with my friends, but when I actually thought about it, I really needed to attend this church thing. I haven't been involved in church activities in a long time. I feel guilty that I have been focusing ALL my attention on school and more on my leisure time that God doesn't even get a minute of my attention. God > everything and everyone else. That's the way it should be. That's the way it NEEDS to be.

I Love Doing Things For My Friends

Especially when they least expect it and have no idea that I'm doing something for them. And when I see that smile, that's when I know I've done my job.

Sweet Thing

So last Tuesday afternoon around 5? Jade and I were hella bored and decided to look for random department stores to buy things we kinda need. We went to Lopue's East and Save More afterwards. We didn't find the things we were lookin for so we decided to buy some drinks instead and just take a break from the school-related stress. Whatever, ahaha

Bought a liter of beer and we decided to drink at her apartment.

Before we even came in, Jade saw this!

She was really surprised and thought to whom was this from. So she read the letter that says 'I'm sorry from: Neil' yes, from our boss. She was puzzled and speechless. She had a few thoughts of compromising her pride but I guess it just couldn't phase her.

So we started drinking and boss came to us.

This is definitely one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. Like come'on, a bouquet of flowers for apology?? Damn, I would even skip lunch just to buy this thing right here but ohwell, I guess love can make us do crazy yet sweet things. Does it? LOL

I Finally Got My Ear Pierced.

It's been awhile since I haven't written a blog and now I think I have to make up for my absence.

Anyway, something good happened yesterday. I dunno if it's good or bad but good cause it contributes to my look somehow, bad cause my parents don't want me to have it.

So I got my left ear pierced and yea it looks good!! Thanks to my friend Jade for doing the favor. She really did well! I like it! Well, I look just a lil bit different now. One thing forsure, I'm gonna rock it the suitable way possible.

IDK what would my parents think about this but I guess they just couldn't do something if they see it because it's already there! They can't make me remove it and let it close.

I still love my parents tho. Reason why I didn't ask their permission is because I don't wanna hear the word 'NO' and idk if I did the right thing but I guess I didn't mean to disobey them. I mean, I don't even know if they're ok with it or not. I just want them to see it so they could just complain but won't make me remove it or anything. If you just know what I'm saying :)

My Wordpress Is Dunzo

I'm back readers!

The reason why I haven't logged in or updated my blogger account is because I switched to Wordpress (ginpee.wordpress.com). Unfortunately, stupid shit happened that my Wordpress account got hacked. IDK what happened but everytime I log in, it says incorrect password/username and I gave up. It's prolly because I kinda signed into my Wordpress app in my phone but it's not supposed to alter the password n stuff.

Anyhow, I aint coming back to Wordpress anymore. It's complicated and only pros can understand it all.

I'M BACK and hope you get hold of my blog for the rest of your life. Peace out!

And oh, imma be transferring some of my blog posts from my Wordpress account.