I only had 4hrs of sleep and idk how to function for the rest of the day. The topic @ class today is very crucial so I must focus.

I stayed up all night answering these 200 item homework not because I'm a good student but because I procrastinated. And I take responsibilty for it.
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Chillin with my bro here in Cafe Bobs. It's raining so we thought of drinking some hot beverages.

Anyways, I may need to set time for studying later. Plans don't push through as expected but this time, I need to double my motivation.

That's it for now.

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Late Night Thoughts

I'll be honest - Im not sure if I could still keep up with my studies now that I only have barely half a month remaining until my exam. I dont wanna be anxious but thinking about how fast time goes by is really freaking me out. It's normal, isnt it? I mean, for those who've gone through the same situation, tell me, have you felt like time wasnt enough for you and you just feel overloaded with stuff that dont even make sense? Cuz that's what Im feeling right now. Im pretty much preoccupied with things that shouldnt bother me in the first place.

Whats weird is that IDK if Im feeling pressured or not. Im confused. I rant out about how not ready I am but I dont even take responsibility for it. I always tell myself to study but I end up doing unnecessary things like watching TV and spending hours in front of the computer. And I guess the temptation of going out and hanging out with friends makes it even worse! Nevertheless, I still cant motivate my own self and maybe.. just maybe. I need someone to really push me to the point where I realize that this is a do or die thing. Ohmygod writing this blog isnt even helping cuz Im wasting minutes which is supposed to be alloted for my study time.

I need to find time and look for myself. Look for the old Al Gene that perseveres and motivates his own self. Im motivated its just that.. It isnt enough..

I can't believe we only have 21 days until the board exam. I remember what my friend posted on Facebook. "God's guidance + hardwork = success" << this is true and exactly the motivation statement that I need.

I entrust everything in God! I can study all night but if He doesn't grant my wish to pass, then I know He has in store for me. But I don't wanna be pessimistic!! I know He'll help me pass this exam cuz I've envisioned the plans He has for me.

Anyways, as I'm writing this post, I'm thinking of studying for exams tomorrow. And I think I should do it! I need to.
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This Break

So we finally have our break for the whole 2 months and it's gonna be tomorrow and on Tuesday. Class resumes this Wed. I kinda want it to be longer though but I know that if they put breaks every week, then we might not be able to catch up with the topics that need to be discussed. I think we're not even halfway there. There are too many topics that we need to work on or discuss especially in Medical Surgical Nursing. So far, well, as far as I know, we've only discussed 8 of 18 topics (I just made up those numbers just to let you see how far we've accomplished) so it means that we still need to double time and we cant slack off cuz our licensure examination is gonna be 27days from now!

I dont even wanna talk about the examination because I get nervous and excited at the same time but whatever. We're in the medical field and it's never easy! There too many things to memorize and understand and it even extends from medical field to nationalistic/professional field of nursing and things that are related to it, ahhh i couldnt even explain.

I've Grown Up

My friends told me that I should go out with them two weeks ago without a significant reason. To make the long story short, I said 'NO' then the thought came to my mind that I havent gone out for sooo long since college. I havent even looked forward to parties anymore. It's like, Im not interested with staying up late at parties, drinking my ass out and what not.

then I thought, there are other ways to have fun rather than staying up late, drinking, smoking, and dancing all night. You can chil at coffee shops with friends, totally sober, making the most of the night and you go home at 11 or 12 the maximum. Well, I think that'd be more fun rather than going to clubs. You can go to a coffee shop that plays party music without alcohol, I mean, we have options.

So these last few weeks, I asked my friend KC if she could go out with me and hit a good club in the city. When we got there, there werent alot of ppl which was really strange cuz usually, that club get jampacked with ppl but it was a totally different crowd. Pretty unsual. Ok so we went there, ordered a couple of drinks and sat on the couch looking at those ppl dancing. We had a good time, I admit but we thought that it'd been better if we had gone to any fast food place or cafe which we can eat and talk about stuff without loud music on the background.

I guess she agreed to go out with me cuz she has realized the same thing. It was pretty awkward cuz at some point, we didnt know what to do in that club. So we ended up going home without doing anything in particular.

The next week, my friends from college asked me to go out as well cuz it's been awhile since we havent seen each other. If I were to count the weeks, I think about 4months. It has been a really long time so I decided to go out with them. Chilled at one of our favorite places in the city and talked about our experiences in college and random stuff. It was a pretty cool night. We didnt get drunk.

Bottom line is, whatever you wanna do to have fun, make sure that you do it with the right company at a right time and in a right place. You dont wanna waste your time dealing with nonsense ppl and get totally awkward with them. Always find something meaningful to talk about rather than keeping quiet and waiting for the time to go home. Enjoy, I think that's the most important thing in going out.

Tired

It came to the point where I dont enjoy work anymore. I cant get up at 2a everyday and expect a fully energized body throughout the day. I know this kind of job isnt strange anymore. People wake up at the break of dawn and get ready for work and idk if they're used to it but im not. I've been in this company for 5 months now and as much as I try to keep my body adjusted in this transition, I just cant. There are times that Im really in the mood for work (dont get me wrong, I render RD OT sometimes but only because I couldnt sleep no matter how hard I try to). I wish work comes handy like that, where you can just go there only cuz you cant sleep or you're in the mood and still get paid equally.

I've heard people saying that they want to resign blah blah blah but they end up staying for another month and another month and another month cuz they know they couldnt find a company that pays a big amount of money by just sitting in front of computer. The job isnt hard. I could even navigate on computers with my eyes closed (it's just an ideom lol). Point is, I just couldnt adjust. People are nice (so dont think theyre the reason why im writing this) but schedules arent.

Maybe I should give this a shot for a month or two and see how this goes. Seriously tho, you only sit in front of computer, clicking and typing stuff and get paid. I kinda like the way how it works.. Only if the schedule given is within my desired timeframes. Lol